#131

 

 

 

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In the midst of all the commotion, I was sitting alone on a bench some distance away, watching people pass by.
The sun has completely set, and the ambient orange lights from the stalls lightened the street.

Some were running, some were standing, some were walking hand in hand with each other, and some looked unhappy.

 

There are some things that I couldn’t see in the crowd, but it should be pretty visible from here.

 

The interactions between Shizuku, Yuuto, Kirasaka, and Kaede, who are standing in line at the food stall a little further ahead is decently visible from here.

 

Yuuto is speaking to Shizuku, and Shizuku is resplying to him, but at the same time, he is also paying attention to the people around them.

Kirasaka’s gaze was completely focused on the okonomiyaki stall, completely unconcerned about the people around her.

 

Even though Yuuto was talking with Shizuku, but he kept checking to see if Kaede was bored alone in the back.
And Kaede looking at me, waved her hand, also answering Kirasaka’s questions alongside.

 

What on earth am I looking at and analyzing?　
This is the way of a loner…

 

 

 

Those kinds of lines came to my mind, but I guess that’s the downside of being used to living completely alone in class.
It’s the best proof that I’m good at observing people like the people who are bossy, disliked, or in a similar situation or position who tend to be good at observing people usually.

 

 

 

But if there’s one thing I don’t understand, it’s me.

Through self-analysis, experience, and self-interpretations, it is possible to determine what kind of person I am and what my current situation is.

 

However, this is only in the range of ‘self’, and it is far from an objective point of view.
The more sincere one’s thoughts are, the worse the interpretations are.

 

Even though I don’t understand the relationship between Shizuku and Yuuto, and the dispute between Kirasaka and Shizuku, I don’t intervene.
That’s probably because I’ve decided on my own that I can’t be of any use to even if I get involved.

 

I’m not sure what kind of relationship we have.
In spite of that, I can say that I deserved it when I came to the festival like this.

 

As if to push away the unconscious sigh that escaped my lips, I sat on a bench with a creaking sound and took a sip of the ramune* that I had bought a little while ago. (TL/N - a carbonated drink in Japan)

The nostalgic taste, along with the refreshing carbonation, helped me to ease.

 

 

“Drinking alone in a place like this?”

 

Suddenly, a familiar voice reaches my ears from behind.
Even in such a noisy environment, I could hear his voice clearly.

 

 

The voice wasn’t very loud, but it was audible.
With an low-pitched rough voice a bag was presented to me.

 

Inside the warm bag was a transparent pack of freshly grilled skewers, arranged in a messy way.

 

As I took it, the person behind me asked me.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with them?”

 

“…Kaede will buy my share.”

 

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

 

His voice felt heavier than usual.

 

I know…
I know the meaning of those words the best.

 

Don’t you want to be a part of that circle, that’s what he wanted to ask.

 

But I couldn’t think of the right words to answer.
Instead, the only words that came out were

 

“…Old man, are you sure you don’t want to keep watch at the store?”

 

“I’ve left it to my wife, she’s been nagging me to go give it to Minato and the others.”

 

I didn’t even see the expression on his face, but I thought I knew what kind of expression the guy behind me would have had.
He must be in a bad mood.

 

I’ll thank the old man’s wife later.
If this old-man came, she must have seen us somewhere earlier.

 

This is the time when the number of people increases.
We probably won’t have time to talk until the festival is over.

 

He must have come to give it to me, because I didn’t tell him when I was going to visit the store beforehand.

 

The old man sat down with a thud, waved at Shizuku and the others while smiling.

 

I’m scared, I’m scared of the way the old man smiles!
It’s scary to the level that a small child would totally cry.

 

But it’s also something I’m used to seeing.
This man and I are as far apart in age as grandfather and grandson.

 

Perhaps because of this, I was able to talk about my feelings honestly without feeling embarrassed.
Even though I knew that the other person would not understand my words, I still spoke.

 

 

 

“With what kind of face should I even be in that group? …I honestly don’t know.”

 

They are dazzling and shining.
Their figures are too bright for me.

 

Even though they are in the same spot and engage in the same conversation, the difference between us is huge, as if there was a flaming border between us.

 

My awfully calm self would not allow me to step inside that border.

 

A large hand grabbed my head and stroked not caring the least about my hair.

 

“You’ve always been an over-thinker, you know! Just go ahead and do it!”

 

“It hurts…”

 

The hand moved from my head to my back and pushed me back strongly.
When I turned around, the old man was looking at me with his usual somewhat grumpy face.

 

“It’s too much for an old man like me! They let you be near them because they don’t mind it, right? Go along with it until you do, just go understand your character. “

 

“Maybe something like …a side-character who will never appear again…”

“Get the hell out of here!”

 

I’m sure he thought he said something out the character.
So he turned his face away and refused to look here anymore.

 

I’m too embarrassed to make eye contact today and I think that’s the same case for him.

“Well, thanks for the …skewers.”

 

I held up the bag, said a few words of thanks, and walked out of the spot toward the queue.
I’ll go shop some snacks that goes well with sake later.

 

This was the way I decided to thank the smiling old man behind me for the food alone and no other reason.

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