#144

 

 

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It was the first time in my life that I was grateful for the calm background music of a coffee shop.
It was the first time that I felt grateful for the conversation that people had around me.

 

Because that’s how much silence had fallen between me and Shiraishi.
The words shock and unexpected should be appropriate here.

 

The words that came out from Momiji Shiraishi, who had been so dignified, confident and eloquent in the student council room, were too self-absorbed.

 

“…is that what you meant by ‘don’t laugh’?”

 

To be honest, the thought of laughing didn’t even cross my mind.
The only thing that came was a sigh.

 

Rather than a sigh of disappointment, it was more like dismay.
I don’t know if I should say that she herself was too honest or the words that came out were too honest.

 

“…It’s just my personal feelings”

 

It was not an answer I could agree with.
It wasn’t that I was denying Shiraishi’s idea or making fun of her, but it just wasn’t a commonly accepted reason.

 

“It’s my personal feelings, can’t I have any?”

 

But the words that came out of Shiraishi’s mouth showed no hesitation.
So it’s clear that this was what she expected.

 

“People are motivated by their personal feelings. If we use the student council as an example, even matters such as internal scores, popularity, or impressions from teachers. also contain some.”

 

“It’s not like I’m trying to be popular or score points.”

 

“Senpai is an exception …No, senpai is the exception. You’re supposed to be in this kind of organization because there’s something you can gain.”

 

If you ask me, it was the same with Hino-kun and Koizumi.

They were active because they wanted to have friends and to be recognized by the people around them and become the next student council president.

 

I don’t know about Miura.
It’s not that I’m not interested, I’m just not good at talking to the opposite sex.

 

If I were to talk to her myself, she would say, “What’s this guy is interested in me?”. And if that happened it create an awkward atmosphere.

 

The reason why people who don’t have many friends tend to excel in self- defense techniques is because they assume the worst possible situation first and then act accordingly.

…Let’s use this as the subject for the independent research.

 

Now that I have decided on the subject for my project, let’s get back to the point.

 

 

“So for Shiraishi, it’s about creating an ideal student council….”

 

“Yes!”

 

She looked straight into my eyes and assured me.

Those determined eyes are similar to those of president, Shizuku, and Kirasaka.

 

I’m not a fan of those eyes…
I have a very hard time with eyes that are so clear and confident, like the complete opposite of my own.

 

I wanna run away.

 

“But it’s just motivation, not a statement that be addressed to the students. I’ve told my real feelings to you just because …I’ve already been seen by Shinra-senpai.”

 

“You were squirming around and it was because of your own carelessness that you showed me your notepad.”

 

I’d like you to refrain from saying something that could be misinterpreted by others.

School is bad itself, much less a place in front of a train station with a lot of people coming and going.

 

 

Still, this clarified why Shiraishi wanted Shizuku and the others to join instead of the current members.

For current students, it was a given to make the next student council as equal or better than the student council led by Akane Hiiragi, as discussed in the student council.

 

It’s well thought out.
I also think it was a near-perfect plan to keep me in the student council, as I had something in common with the girls, in anticipation of the possibility that they would refuse to join.

 

She was observant and made accurate guesses based on the information.
This would certainly make me want to join conversation and maybe even think of a response.

 

You can’t deny that there was a little bit …well, a lot of mistakes that screwed things up.

 

But it was because of this that I was curious.
Why is she so obsessed with ideals?

If she worked together with Koizumi and the others and got along well, she would be able to develop the student council to a good point, if not to the current level.

 

As these questions crossed my mind, Shiraishi opened her lips with a smile.

 

“I told you not to laugh, but to be honest, I don’t mind being laughed at. Even if they say it’s impossible, or that such a thing doesn’t exist in reality …I don’t want to end up doing nothing for the high school life I’ve always dreamed of.”

 

The ideals that Shiraishi talked about are indeed ideals and difficult to make into reality.

To be honest, most of people would think the idea of being in the student council surrounded by beautiful girls and boys just as a joke.

 

She’s just a dreamy girl with a longing desire.
She can’t deny the fact that it is unreasonable.

 

But the student council that she yearned for, is possible at our school, Sakuranaoka Academy.

 

As if by chance, there are three excellent, popular, and good-looking students in our school.
Each of them had their own weaknesses, but they still had more than enough ability.

 

 

When Shiraishi entered the school, she saw that the three of them had already established themselves as popular figures in the school, and her desire for the ideal dream must have grown even stronger.
But that’s why I wanted to say something.

 

“There are times when it is useless to hold on to your aspirations…”

 

The greater the desire, the bigger the impact will be when you fail.
The gap between ideal and reality makes you come to a halt.

This is how the people turn away from the ideal, find a compromise, and talk about it as growth.

 

 

“You may be right …but it can’t be helped, can it? Like in several of anime and manga, I’ve longed to be a high school student, and now I’ve finally found myself in a school full of talented seniors just like I had imagined.”

 

Even so, Momiji Shiraishi did not stop.
The expression on her face as she spoke with glowing eyes gradually changed to one of dignity and firmness.

 

With the motive of achieving her personal desires, the junior who harbored sweet ideals, looked at me as if she was expecting something.

 

“So I need your help, Shinra-senpai!”

 

“…”

 

“Whenever I saw the Senpais, Shinra-senpai was always beside them …at first, I thought they were just coincidentally nearby, but I soon realized that I was wrong and that they were gathering around Shinra-senpai.”

 

…It’s not like the problem will be solved if I help out.

 

Why does everyone overestimate me?
What I alone can do is negligible.

 

I’m not smart, I’m not athletic, I’m not rich, I’m not good looking.
I just know people who can have it.

 

…Also, I have a cute little sister.

 

Shiraishi bowed her head and asked me.

 

“Before the seniors graduate, I want to build something together, just once! Please help me!”

 

I feel like I’ve been in this situation before.
When was it?

 

I searched my memory and remembered it was around the end of March this year, at the end of spring break.

 

He bowed to me, like now, asking me to help him and Shizuku out.

And I had refused at that time. I didn’t want to get into trouble, so I gave myself an answer and decided that it was not necessary.

 

Then, even though I said I didn’t want to, I ended up doing something, started talking to Kirasaka, and even joined the student council later on.

I wonder if I’ve grown in some ways.

 

 

 

I looked up at the ceiling and searched for the right words.

And what came out was-

 

“I’m sorry, but I refuse.”

 

In the end, the answer was the same as it was then.

 

“I see…”

 

Shiraishi’s voice became low and her expression darkened, as if she was depressed.

For her, I might have been a bridge between possibilities.

 

With an effortless movement, I stood up and picked up my luggage to leave the store.

I bowed my head and said my goodbyes.

“Thank you for your time today …I’ll be leaving now-“

 

“But-“

 

My way of thinking may not change.
That’s just the way I am.

 

However, it is certain that I made a mistake later by refusing a similar situation once.

I can’t afford to repeat that.

“…But it’s a different matter if I do something outside the student council.”

 

So it might not be a bad idea to do something unusual this time.

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