#166

 

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She declared the meeting to be a strategy meeting, but after that, both of us remained silent.

It was no wonder.

 

We both understand what the problem is and what we need to do in order to solve it.

However, the problem is that it has already developed to a level that cannot be solved by an individual alone.

 

No, let me reframe that sentence …the situation has developed to a level that cannot be solved by Shinra Minato’s ability.

 

Hence the silence.
I know that I cannot do it by myself anymore.

 

Even if I solve Shiraishi’s case and the student council election problem, the next problem will be about the executive (Sakura) committee.
If I could even solve that, next I would have to turn my attention to my recent relationship issues.

 

But no matter how many questions I ask myself, the answer never seems to come to my mind.
A temporary way is to throw it to my future self, but that is not a fundamental solution.

 

I am reminded that I must broaden my perspective from the self-centered, self-focused way of thinking to a view that would consider others around me.

However, even though my brain knows this, my deep-rooted self-centered ideology …refuses to allow me to do so, and as a result, I am unable to come up with an answer.

What’s the benefit of me getting this deep into a kouhai’s issue who I don’t even know much about?

 

Even if I could solve the problem, there’s still this issue of relationships.
What exactly is a childhood friend, a friend, or a classmate…?

 

I think it would be a mistake to try to push Shizuku and the others into the framework of those categories.
Sometimes I wonder if she and them have already been established with a separate relationship in my mind.

 

Friends… they are all different.
I don’t even know how to describe it properly, I hate my vocabulary.

 

Were the choices I’ve made up until now, correct. The actions I’ve taken, the words I’ve said and done, are they really right?

…No, this is my problem now that I can think back to the past.

 

I continued to do the best I could under those circumstances.
I meant to do so.

 

But recently, I began to wonder.
What is the ‘best’?

 

I think that I am only justifying based on my own principles, but from the viewpoint of others, the exact same choice could be a bad one and makes me look like a ridiculous person.

I was beginning to doubt my own justification because those around me were right, superior, and close.

During the moment of silence with Shizuku, only a recurring and endless chain of thoughts circulated in my brain, as if I was stepping into a swamp that was as deep as I could think.

 

“Minato-kun is a very strong person…”

“What is it that so suddenly…”

 

What finally came out of her open mouth was that one sentence.
What makes a person strong and what is the standard for strong depends on the individual’s sense of values.

 

I don’t know what she meant by strong.

 

“The only person who hasn’t changed since the past is …you, Minato-kun …The people around you and I have changed, too. We’ve spent our lives abandoning ourselves and overwriting our new selves, building upon the excuse that ‘to change is to grow up’, and that we’re growing up.”

 

“…”

 

I suppose that is …natural.
It would’ve been abnormal if it wasn’t.

 

It’s not that I didn’t change, it’s that I couldn’t.

I did not want to coexist healthily with my environment if it meant that I have to change myself.

I just didn’t like the peaceful, ordinary days of how the society worked.
The superficial relationships, the daily routine of flattering those who are superior to us and seeking their favor.

 

If that is what real human relationships are, I don’t want them.

‘A space where I can feel at ease’, as the president said.
That is exactly what I wanted.

That is probably the reason why president chose me.

 

“I can imagine that Minato-kun will resolve this series of problems by following the decisions of the “Shinra Minato” as you’ve done in the past.”

 

“…I can only do so much.”

 

I know best what I can do.
All I can do is repeatedly try to choose the best solution within my limited abilities and options.

 

Even if I end up in a situation where people hate me in the process, it’s still not in my nature to abandon myself and worry about the way people look at me.

 

“That’s why Minato-kun is so strong …but I don’t want Minato-kun to be alone any longer.”

 

The raised gaze, combined with the light from the window, made her look radiant.

 

“I can’t stand the thought of Minato-kun becoming someone else’s …but I also hate to see Minato-kun alone with no one interested in him.”

 

Shizuku muttered with a wry smile, “It’s a contradiction, isn’t it?”
But I couldn’t affirm the word contradiction.

 

I never imagined that anyone would have any bad feelings about me being alone.

To me, it was a normal, unremarkable day in my life.

“To tell you the truth, I was a little glad to see Kirasaka-san talking to Minato-kun during the new term.”

 

“Glad?”

 

Shizuku nodded, with her cheeks flushed red.
Do dogs and monkeys have such feelings towards each other…? : xD

 

I was about to open my mouth to ask why, but Shizuku continued.

 

“I was happy to know that someone other than me and Yuuto had finally come to know the good qualities of Minato-kun …although at the same time I was angry at the fact that she was a woman.”

 

When she said the words she added to the end of the sentence, Shizuku had a completely blank expression on her face and I could imagine that she was really angry.

Shizuku, s-she’s really scary.

 

“That’s why I don’t want Minato-kun, who is supposed to be working the hardest for this issue, to not be given due recognition, and for others to be praised for their efforts.”

 

Shizuku said as if declaring.
Her serious eyes are directed toward me with a strong glint in them.

 

This is speculation, but she may have had that experience before.
It could have happened that she, who did nothing but worked hard behind the scenes, was the last one to be praised …without any recognition.

 

No, I think it did happen.

 

“It’s always been that way and for me …it’s normal.”

 

I don’t have any interest in people around me, and I don’t want to be admired.
So, again, I don’t go around telling people how hard I worked.

Even if I did, few people would believe me.

 

When I told Shizuku, she just smiled sadly.
It was like …she had surrendered, and as if she knew in advance what she was going to do.

 

“I know Minato-kun… you don’t want that, do you?”

 

“Ah…”

 

The volume of the voice of Shizuku gradually became lower and lower until it was almost inaudible at the end, and I felt a slight sense of apology as I replied in return.
Normally, this would have been the end of the story.

Shizuku’s shoulders would’ve dropped and she would’ve left the room, but that was not the case today.
Instead of dropping her shoulders, she immediately turned her gaze upward, something akin to a strong will in her eyes.

 

“So …I’ll be the one standing beside Minato-kun when he’s working hard! Even if no one praises Minato-kun, I will say that Minato-kun was doing his best… and that person, and Yuuto-kun will do the same.”

That person that Shizuku is referring to, I somehow know who that is without having to put it into words.

And Yuuto is the same.

 

“I will help Minato-kun.”

 

I felt as if Shizuku had reverted back to the old Shizuku a little bit as she said that without listening to my opinion.

I was back to the days when she would just smile and innocently pull my hand without listening to me.

 

The hand she held out to me was small and white.
But it was a very reassuring one.

As if hesitating to take my hand back, Shizuku immediately grabbed my right hand, which was moving slowly.

I smiled at her and turned towards her.

 

“Sorry… but please look after me.”

 

“Yes! Leave it to me!”

 

Is there any childhood friend who is so dependable?

Today’s Kanazaki Shizuku was strong and kind enough to make me feel this way.

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: 5 chapters out today. Enjoy! 4 more to go --- --- ### Archived Comments **crisiscore38** *(on 2022-06-10 07:23:15)*: > She's such a nice girl... thanks for the chapter.