SS-In a room without him
SS: In a Room Without Him
âWhy do you like Shinra, Kanzaki-san?â
While working in the sewing room on tasks for the executive committee, Nakayama-san asked me this question. I stopped my hands, which were organizing documents, and turned my gaze towards her.
She seemed to bring up the topic during a short break from work, perhaps because her shoulders had stiffened from concentrating too much on the task at hand.
However, her question drew curious looks from first-year students Shiraishi-san and Hino-kun.
Fortunately, Minato-kun and Kirasaka-san were absent from this place. Reluctantly, the two of them had gone alone to her fatherâs company. I had to keep them in check, especially Kirasaka, who was quick to act but difficult to handle.
However, it couldnât be helped this time. Bringing a large group to the company might be considered rude.
So, I was contemplating continuing the work for the two absentees and planning to go shopping with Minato-kun later.
Then, Nakayamaâs question came unexpectedly, and for a moment, my thoughts stopped.
âWhy do I like Minato-kun?â
âYeah, yeah. Everyone in the class knows youâre childhood friends, but honestly, Iâm surprised. Why canât it Ogiwara-kun, whoâs just the perfect match just beside you?â
She muttered softly. I glanced towards Ogiwara-kun, who was checking the school supplies we would use starting tomorrow.
Her voice, which was deliberately subdued, could only be heard by me and the two underclassmen nearby.
I felt her words might be disrespectful to Ogihara-kun, but by lowering her voice, she seemed to be aware of that already. However, talking about oneâs feelings for someone of the opposite sex was a bit embarrassing.
Moreover, sharing it with someone I wasnât close to was even more uncomfortable.
Shiraishi-san and I had been acquainted since the time of the student council elections, and I had known Hino-kun even longer. Although our relationships were different, I had no problem sharing Minato-kunâs merits with these juniors, who he somewhat cared for.
However, it was different with Nakayama.
Classmate, fellow student⌠However, she had a tendency to mock Minato-kun since before.
She interrupted Minato during discussions about the school trip, and she continued to do the same during the trip and in daily life.
I didnât like her attitude. I reluctantly accepted her because she was necessary for the project. I heard that she had cooperated with Minato-kun in discussing the terms she proposed.
Minato even allowed her to interfere because Ogiwara-kun, whom she liked, was also in the executive committee.
Although Miyashita-san might be displeased by nowâŚ
Undoubtedly, Nakayama disliked Minato-kun. It might be his personality, appearance, or atmosphere. Or perhaps all of them.
But Minato didnât care about those.
He acknowledged her abilities.
He was the kind of person who didnât mind being disliked, even if he wasnât thought of as a person by her.
Thatâs why she couldnât understand him.
The personality of Shinra Minato was something that ordinary students would never understand.
Even if I explained the reasons why I liked him, Nakayama-san wouldnât understand.
Thinking of suggesting we leave since the sunset was starting to shine into the classroom⌠Would that help avoid the conversation?
I briefly pondered in the moment.
âŚBut that would just be an excuse.
I didnât want others to understand Minato-kun more than anyone else. It was just something I wanted to keep to myself.
That he cherishes his little sister Kaede-chan more than anything else.
That he had been in a long-standing feud with his father.
That he felt a little troubled because his mother spoiled him a little too much.
That he always left his room and the living room doors slightly open in hopes that the cat from the neighbouring house would come and play.
That he had admired Ogiwara-kun, who could do anything.
That he had been disappointed and compared by those around him since childhood.
But that the comparisons were made by those around him and adults, and that her sister and him were not at fault.
Thatâs why he always interacted with them normally, no matter what anyone said.
Thatâs why he was disliked by those around him.
People made fun of him for not having emotions, but heâs actually kinder and more easily hurt than anyone else.
But he was just better at sealing his emotions and pushing them down deeper than others.
To the point where I didnât notice it myself.
âNakayama-san, what criteria do you use when choosing a preferred partner of the opposite sex?â
âWell⌠things like appearance, personality, and whether our hobbies match?â
âThen, among those, what do you prioritize the most?â
âUm⌠I guess personality?â
I asked, received a response, and then asked again. After a moment of hesitation, Nakayama answered.
Not confidently, but with some hesitation. There are countless factors that contribute to liking someone. It varies from person to person, and there is no correct answer.
So, her response was also correct. But it was Nakayama-sanâs choice, not mine.
âFor me, itâs whether they have a sense of self. I once lost mine.â
As I murmured this, Nakayama-san, followed by Shiraishi-san and Hino-kun, glanced around.
They showed expressions of understanding the meaning of the words to some extent, but not perfectly.
People all have different faces.
The false self created to meet expectations. The self that projects a model answer to be recognized by others. The self trapped by appearance. The self that interprets it as acceptable to belittle modest people if they are central figures in the class.
They probably all know which face belongs to whom without me pointing it out. Theyâre just aware and avoiding looking at it. Including myselfâŚ
So, what I seek is someone who doesnât lose themselves.
Someone who doesnât conform to othersâ thoughts, even if theyâre laughed at, mocked, compared, or disliked.
Because I believe that is what truly makes a strong person. Thatâs why Iâm infatuated. With Minato-kun, who is constantly called ordinary.
Thatâs why Iâm conscious of it. With Kirasaka Rei, a strong opponent.
âI donât like the people who are popular in class. I donât think someone is amazing just because theyâre good at studying or sports. I think someone is cool when, even if they make a wrong choice, they donât justify it by saying everyone else did it too. They stand up and object, without bending themselves, even if theyâre alone.â
âIsnât that obvious? Or what weâre doing is wrong?â
âNeither you nor I can do whatâs obvious.â
She looked a little dissatisfied with my words. If she thinks like Minato-kun, then the group is a single entity.
The groupâs will dictates its decisions. Minorities are seen as foreign elements. Moving from the majority to the minority is scarier and more difficult than words can express.
Because it deviates from the categoryâs framework. As a result, bullying and conflicts arise.
Minato-kun is universally disliked by the top students in the school caste. Because he chooses the truly correct choices and words that they donât want to hear.
Conversely, he is somewhat favourably regarded by the students who spend their time in the shadows. Because he speaks for them, expressing answers they could never say aloud.
People canât endure loneliness. So, it might be inevitable that Minato-kun isnât understood.
His choices represent a path of solitude in a modern world that outwardly respects individuality but inwardly depends on conformity to the group.
But perhaps someday, when they become adults, theyâll realize. Theyâll realize the amazing things Minato-kun did during his student days.
And Iâm happy that I could realize it early. Walking alongside him during our student days, which are important in life and will be remembered with longing many times over.
I should be able to look back and be proud of the choices I made without embarrassment or regret.
Even now, Iâm feeling a little proud.
âLooks will age and decay, theyâre not immutable. I find a cool way of living more attractive. I think Ogiwara-kun is a good person, but heâs not my type.â
I asserted this as my answer to Nakayama-sanâs question.
Anything beyond this is my secret alone.
The good aspects of Minato-kun that only I know.
To Nakayama-san, who patted my shoulder a little and said, âDo your best,â I briefly conveyed those words before starting to prepare to leave.
How will she approach Ogiwara-kun from now on?
But thereâs one more thing I can assert.
With her current self, Ogiwara-kun will never turn around. Ogiwara-kun, who has spent more time with Minato-kun than any other male student, keenly feels his greatness.
The strength of Miyashita-san, who emerged from the circle of girls by her own will. Nakayama-san should really be wary of someone like her, instead of me.
Because I am not special, nor is Kirasaka-san.
Will she be able to realize that the person she looked down on and assumed was beneath her has actually been moving forward all this time?
I donât have the luxury to offer help.
I have to strive not to lose to Kirasaka Rei and Hiiragi Akane.
Almost no updates for two years, so probably the end.
> >What's your plan after this? Stick to manga or quit until author suddenly updates again?
> **BrutalBotX** *(on 2024-03-18 00:40:39)*: > Nah, I've quit manga thingy last month, uni's final year is upon me so can't spare time for that now. > > Maybe, I'll continue novels if they don't hinder me much and IF I find something I like. > > Or if those who really like this one, if they comment on his novel page maybe he'll continue, dunno... > I'll just stick with this in my mind for now ig ,